I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
