I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
