I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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