spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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