Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
