dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.