You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream