So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.