no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
