She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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