you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's never too late to be topless.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
