I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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