do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
