tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
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I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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