i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
