I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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