Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
