His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
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