her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize