forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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