Midget sex pt 2 tonight
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
