At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
