My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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