he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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