My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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