my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
