There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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