Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
