Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
