A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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