Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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