working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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