belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize