is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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