Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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