And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
