i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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