just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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