Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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