doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
