I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
