Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
