I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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