dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize