She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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