So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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