Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Randomize
