I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
