My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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