Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it wasn't lemon gatorade
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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