I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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