I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
