i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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