i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You're like the curious george of whores
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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