She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
