I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
