Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
