He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
