never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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