we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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