We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
They are going to name an STD after you.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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